By Dos Noun

One of the best aspects of being a consequential indie ground rap god such as myself is the variety of drugs I get to do in the course of my swashbuckling, globetrotting, adventures. I’ve smoked yakuza grown trees with furtive promoters in tokyo while neon buzzed all around our balcony perch. I’ve gobbled shrooms in amsterdam more times than my addled brain will ever remember. I’ve smoked hash in the free city of christinia in copenhagen where the drug dealers have their own police force.  I don’t drink. I don’t smoke cigarettes. And since I met my girl, my formerly prodigious whoring is off the menu. But give me a chance to consume a psychoactive substance and I will leap to it with the vigor which has made me that dude for so many years. Such was the precise situation in the french city of St. Etienne, nestled in the Rhone valley at the foot of France’s Alps.

I had just finished murdering a show with my close associate iCON the Mic King. We had em going something fucking momentous. iCON did his blindfolded routine and brought down the house. I notched another stripe in the belt worn by the world’s best freestyler, me. The night came to a close and we found ourselves in a shuttered bar with a few newly made friends and some shot glasses. The bar owner, who was rocking a “5 Elements Krs One” shirt asked us if we wanted to try the “local specialty”. We did and he rummaged in the shadows under the bar until he pulled up a large clear glass jug and slapped it on thw wooden bar. The jug was filled with clear liquid and a dead viper whose red eyes shone even in the darkness of the 4am room. This was “Viperene”, a local liquor made by drowning a viper in grain alcohol. As the viper drowned it would lunge and try to attack its assailant through the bottle, deploying every ounce of its deadly venom before it succumbed. The viper would then cure for a while and the venom would absorb into the alcohol making an aesthetically imposing and psychoactive concoction. There is video of us drinking the actual brew so I’ll let the picture do the words on that process. Suffice to say that after a second or two, the effects hit me and I felt as if I had quaffed PCP. Everything was in tight then loose undulating focus and I could read people’s thoughts. This lasted till I passed out that night with an allergy attack so bad I almost choked in my sleep. So if you’re passing through the Rhone Valley and seek and hallunicogenic treat, look no further than “Viperene” or as I call it, nectar of the demons.  Take it easy and remember you can do your best even if you aren’t me:  Dos-Noun, Pittsburgh, PA 6/7/’09